Shark Week is almost over and I've only seen about two seconds of it. Fuck You T.V.! I've become obsessed with nudity. I think this year in photo I may have to start photographing my self nude. I was looking at a Jeff Koons book yesterday with my friend, Jay and I almost thought art was still for me. His pornographic images are the most beautiful I have ever seen. He inspires me. The rest of his stuff is kind of shitty. I hate pop art unless its really trashy. I think most people perceive nudity as trashy so why not push that? Isn't that weird to think that nudity is trashy to some people? Like Tyra Banks. She prolly got something to hide. Maybe nudity is just offensive or shocking. If I were a famous artist I would want my art to change the world's view of the naked human body. All of them. I think every single one has something to offer. Ugly is the new beautiful. Fat is the new skinny. Its just all old.

Not sure this is considered summer season or spring 2010 (since I'm from Chicago ;-() butttt..... platform pumps in nude suede, I think. Or maybe just leather. Has to be nude. I would die for them. Christian Louboutin, of course. I'd take em in both peep toe and closed, thanks.

I really hope no one hates me enough to do this to me.

The sunniest Spot in my day:

So, I have my septum pierced now.

And my brother comes home when he has too much to drink and tells me that I look ugly and that I should take it out, that I look like a scum bag, and my mother says to him, "She just did it to get a rise out of us, ignore it and she'll take it out."

Ha! Never.
He also threatened me with, "Wait till I get really drunk and then I'll rip it out!"





First day with ring, first webcam pic with ring. Still working on taking a webcam photo of myself everday. From this day forth! Everyday! Webcam photo of my face for my age flip book!

Watching Doc Oz about breast cancer with a slumbering cancer patient. HE does not have breasts. I do not know how to properly examine my breasts for lumps but I am familiar with them. If I ever got a mastectomy I would get a constellation tattoo. Maybe a triangle like this:



This lady was just like "Having larger breasts [means] having lots of little things in there I'm not sure what's normal and what's not." I have small breasts and there's all kinds of shit in there! Boobs are boobs!

Ewwww squeeze nips for discharge! I don't wanna get old or have cancer!

Dear Co-de: Why don't you join WoW and make some REAL friends!

Right now I am sitting in my employer's living room while the cleaning lady cleans the kitchen and my employer attempts to fix the picture on his T.V. He seems very frustrated, not only because he feels like $#*! but also the stupid T.V. is constantly interrupting life and honestly reducing the quality of life for so many people. I wish this wasn't such a television fixated household, like my own. When I move out on my own, I will never have a T.V. Never. I've been thinking about what it would be like to not have a computer either, but I don't know about that... It would be like going off the grid. Total media starvation. The media starves us of original thought and creativity. Today, I begin my fast from the media. Right now. I just decided. I will not use the internet, watch movies, or television all weekend. Signing off now, and I'm not coming back for as long as I can take it!

Sunday, May 23, 2010 AM
Today I heard someone say, "I think you are born gay." In the context of identifying the origins of homosexuality within an individual, I agree.

Today (tonight?) I had a wonderful time. It was the kick off, so to speak, of summer 2010, my life. I got to meet a few new people, mostly just had an amazing time with a group of fun people at my friends' house. It was a pure example of hmagnifiesatmosphereulles.

Sometimes I wonder how original writing can be. A psychic told me that she could see me with a future in journalism, a European husband, twin blond girls, and that my current lovelife might take a turn for the worst, in the sense that "someone might play the field". So far, only the boyfriend cheating has come true. Freaky, right? EYE D KAY. What should I believe?? Should I admit that I have always thought about having a twin, I think blonds are sexy, and I honestly have thought of Journalism as a career choice in the past? Or should I own up to the "fact" that many people have been cheated on, who doesn't want a twin?, blondes are sexy, and why not wonder about Journalism, it sounds kind of sick!? However, the psychic, Dominique, told me that someone might play the field on the 19th or 20th of the next month.... To the day... I found out that my first ever boyfriend had grown a little bored on his HC date with a family "friend", and kissed her;
who was not me. So Dominique was right. Crazy? Haven't been back to her.

Today
Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yesterday was my first day at work. Today is my second. It was extremely easy. I would cherish my luck in securing a decent paying summer job, but the only reason I have my job is because my friend is very sick. But that's ok, after being with him today I kind of think he has a really good chance at getting better. He was tired and seemed sickly, but he got through the day and did OK.

It seems like some other surprise popped up in my life since my last post, but I cannot remember... Oh, just that if I lived in a perfect, dream world I would be making clay jewelry at a certain festival this summer and earning enough back to pay for the trip... or maybe just enough to earn some memories. I have a great idea. It may or may not be original... it seems so obvious to me. Tomorrow I'm going to the craft store. I wish I had more money... I have some jewelry ideas I'd like to launch. I'll have some time during "work" this summer to do something from me. However, I'd settle for a trip down Highway 18...

It starts in Wisconsin and ends in Wyoming. A beautiful chance to see an important stretch of the country. It passes through 2 Indian reservations and 2 great grassland, prairie park things! And of course, a few teeny tiny towns, but not too many. If only I had some adventurous/fortunate friends willing to pitch in for a summer road trip adventure through the place our dear city-suburb calls its region: The Midwest. Its not the whole midwest, but its a majority of some of the most beautiful areas of the northern great prairie. I plan to see all 50 states. I probably will maiden out before that list is complete.

So, I've been trying to stay on top of taking a pictures of myself err'day on my Macbook. So far, I've slothed off. That's just going to make me look worse when I line up all my photos chronologically to show the progression of age. I'm still young. I got this computer when I was 18. I have some photos of me at 18, they're on my flickr, I think. If I stick to it from this day out and my computer lasts for 7 years... wow. Can't wait. Again, probably not original because it seems that original art is more rare than bad art. Unless you're an intellectual property thief, aka mindreader. If I were to SERIOUSLY steal intel prop I would try to mindreading as an excuse. Then make great art because I would be deemed crazy. What happens to bad art? I know there's a museum or something, but if bad art gets put in a bad art museum they must have decided that it was worse than other bad art, therefore making it negatively "better"?

Today's macbook picture: standard.
Number 333 on my photobooth


Another photo of some art, maybe bad, that I did at some young age. Hard to tell. Its really bad.

I have never felt more adult-like. Today, I told my friend that I was not comfortable with a certain relationship. It needed to be done. It's hard now. All I can do is hope that we will still be friends some day.

Just a few minutes ago, I was offered a full-time "nanny" position. More like friend, answer to my prayers and off the books. <-Is that a sentence? In my earlier post I mentioned that I needed a job. Looks like I'll be making a hefty starting point. Not enough to waste on summer traveling. Maybe not. Doesn't look like I'll get a vacation unless my employers vacate. Probably. It'll be a tough job, but I'm up to it. I'm getting paid to be a friend in tough times. Any moral thoughts there? I could do this job without getting paid. Am I a Capitalist? Will I ever add more friends on this website? Who knows. All I know is I'm not adding any more random ones. I might delete you M Brucewu whoever.

I really hate it when one of your friends so obviously chooses another friend over all of their other friends and then sits back and wonders why anyone is angry at them at all.